11/19/00

Yes, it's me. It really is.

Anne's Journal of Minutiae

Sunday
November 19, 2000

I created this in Photoshop after seeing something similar which had been featured on Conan O'Brien. I think.

The way things are going, Gore might just end up letting the Bush camp succeed in intimidating him into quitting this whole friggin' mess. Bush's "lead" has grown to nearly a thousand votes, hand counts notwithstanding. And of course, for each hand-counted vote that Gore receives, Jim Baker and his Repub ilk charge the Dems with "vote-tampering." (Umm...think: Pot. Kettle. Black).

Then we have Ret. General Norman Schwarzkopf saying, "It's a very sad day in our country when the men and women of the armed forces...because of some technicality are denied the right to vote." Oh of course we shouldn't discard ballots received without signatures and postmarks -- especially if they happen to be Bush votes. Just dump the ones with a punch for Gore. (Excuse me, but who's to say that at least some of those 1400 or so discarded ballots weren't Gore votes? Recent polls have indicated that many young enlisted consider themselves liberal to moderate. Approximately 37% of the military is African-American.) Well, Stormin' Norman, I think it's also a sad day when African-American citizens are prevented from exercising their right to vote.

I think Kathy's spent a littttle to much time in the sun. I mean, how can anyone expect to beat -- fairly -- a candidate whose brother governs a state with 25 electoral votes at stake? Especially when those brothers are the spawn of a powerful and politically well-connected Republican family? (And it really helps to have a cousin running the election desk at Fox Network, willing to "call" the election for Cousin Dubya therefore causing a premature concession by Al Gore.) It also helps to have the Florida Secretary of State in your pocket, too -- especially one as staunchly supportive as Katherine ("Looks Like A Transvestite") Harris. Of course she's not going to include the results of the recounts in the final tally, High Court ruling or NO High Court ruling. Oh nooooo. Not when she's invested so much of her own money (she's worth 6 mil, kids) and time (she was a Bush delegate at the RNC). (A chilling thought: Harris and Florida Guv Jeb ["The press is still here? Throw the assholes out!"] Bush in an intimate moment, making hot monkeylove. Ewwww!)

Anyway. The Republican spin machine has done a damn fine job of psyching out the American people, wearing them down with counter lawsuits to the point that polls are showing they'll accept anyone as Prez right now. Even a scalliwag like GWB. Look how well they intimidated the Dems into eschewing any Clinton campaigning early on. If Gore hadn't acquiesced, we'd have been calling him President-Elect two weeks ago. Heck, the Repubs have already annointed Dubya with that title now.

So, if the worst comes to pass (and the grim likelihood looms ever closer), we'll have ourselves a coke-snortin', polluter-lovin', gun-lovin', moron-assmonkey in office. Dubya will enter the Oval Office knowing that he did not win with the popular vote, but gained office via an ancient, arcane technicality known to all his serfdom as The Electoral College. Think of it: well more than half the voting populace did not elect him. Worse yet, most weren't voting for Gore so much as against Bush. Man, I'd don't know about you, but I would not want to assume office that way. Uh-uh.

And let's not forget the Nader vote. If Gore had won, they'd be watching his every move thereafter, barbs at the ready. But with Bush -- ooooh, they'll be on him like "ugly on an ape." To the Greens I says: "Unleash the hounds!"

Then there's this recession that's surely to come in the next year or two. And said recession will most assuredly be exacerbated by that promised tax-cut and all the Gen Xers and Yers rolling over their Social Security deductions into mutual fund baskets (which reminds me: I take it that these rollovers will not be on the "honor system"; let's see...hmmmm...guess we'll have to create a whole new BUREAUCRACY to oversee this new procedure/project). Yup, they'll be puttin' that ole "Deficit Clock" back up over Times Square in a few. Dubya's approval rating will wane...deja vú! Maybe he'll have to start a winnable war like Poppy Bush did! But, in the end, GWB will carry on the Bush tradition of being a one-term president.

For fun maybe there'll be a nifty, nasty scandal the likes of which might rival even Watergate. Mid-term, mayhaps? With GWB's record, it's pretty much a given. The Dems'll be thinking, "Payback's a bitch." And really, who can blame them? The Repubs set the playing field -- they can't really expect the Dems to tuck tale between legs and roll over.

What's that you say, Repubs? Do I hear you correctly? Oh, you want me to set aside my angst, vitriol and bitterness and support President George W. Bush? Is that what you're asking me? Oh, well sure I'll support the ratbastard -- as much as you supported President Bill Clinton. How 'bout dat? F**kwits.

Yeah, I got my "IMPEACH BUSH" bumpersticker ready to go. Oh yeah.

My friends, we do have one final option. A secret weapon, if you will. It might take one tidal wave of effort and chutzpah, but you know, I think we're all ripe for it.

That secret weapon? Why it's...

He'll have some heads rolling...aftter he's knocked them together.

Don't laugh. It could happen.