2/4/01

Yes, it's me. It really is.

Anne's Journal of Minutiae

Sunday
February, 4, 2001

An open letter to the Crazy Bitch in the white VW Passat/Jetta/whatever who nearly side-swiped me in the Ralph’s/Long's parking lot in Mission Valley on Saturday, February 3, 2001:

Dear Ms. Crazy-Bitch,

Let me first ask you a question: Do you always drive with a cell phone plastered against your right ear? Because if you do, there might be an 18-wheeler’s rear end with your name on it somewhere. Or maybe a brick wall. Or a telephone pole. Or a ditch. Just so that no innocent person has to be hurt or killed because of your careless, reckless stupidity.

Let me also give you a few tips on driving in a PARKING LOT (besides leaving your cell phone in your PURSE). Firstly, you must realize that when you reach the end of a row or entryway, it is akin to a boulevard STOP. The cars flowing in from the STREET and into the parking lot itself have the RIGHT OF WAY. You do NOT. You must WAIT YOUR TURN before you join the flow of traffic. You must NOT drive alongside the other vehicles in an attempt to wedge your car between the other vehicles. Remember that this is a narrow two-way passage which can barely accommodate the vehicle of a pushy, errant idiot such as yourself. But, throwing all caution to the wind, you did this anyway.

Perhaps if you had not been preoccupied with carrying on a conversation, juggling with your cell phone and driving with your left hand, you might have eschewed such careless, reckless stupidity. Or maybe you are, by nature, a careless, reckless and stupid person. Anyway. You might remember that traffic was rather tight and I had a large SUV in front of me and another one very close behind me. What was I supposed to do? Slam on my brakes, thus causing the Ford Explorer to rear-end me whilst you went on your merry way? Was I supposed to reward your careless, reckless stupidity by allowing you to cleave your way into the line?

So, I kept a steady course. You chose to honk your horn at me and nearly side-swipe my right front fender. (I also noticed that you looked down momentarily at your cell phone in order to press the “end” button -- which is when your car lurched toward my Jeep.) You continued to honk at me, so I honked back. When I made a right turn to find a parking space, you followed me. Once parked, I noticed that you where half out of your car and gesticulating at me (ummm, that would be “flipping the bird”). I had to go into Long's Drugs, so I thought I would stroll over and give you a Hang-Up-and-Drive tongue-lashing on the way in. But you slammed your door shut and pretended to rummage in your purse. Then you pretended to suddenly notice me standing beside your car. I lip-synched, “Next time, don’t talk on your cell phone while driving, you idiot.” You lip-synched back, “Oh shut up!” and backed out of the space, almost running over my toes and nearly slamming into another car trying to enter that parking area. (In retrospect, I should have simply scribbled a quick note on a paper bag, showing it to you instead.)

Let me explain why driving while talking on a wireless phone is such a sticky-wicket with me. Aside from the fact that it is careless, reckless and stupid, that is. Whenever I see someone doing what you just did, I see the sweet and beautiful face of a little girl who didn’t live to see her third birthday. Remember this name: Morgan Lee Pena. Remember her precious, lovely face. Morgan Lee was killed by an idiot just like you. He just had to make a phone call from his car. Who knows? Was he calling to confirm a dinner date? Calling his broker about a trade? Retrieving his voice mail messages? Whatever it was, it surely wasn’t worth the life of a beautiful little girl.

This phone-wielding moron ran a stop sign just as Morgan Lee’s mother had made her stop and was proceeding to cross the intersection. The moron had been attempting to dial his phone and didn’t “see” the stop sign. He plowed his car into the child’s mother’s Jeep Cherokee on the passenger side, killing Morgan Lee. Remember: she was only two years old.

There are other Morgan Lees out there -- of all ages. Do you realize that driving while talking on a wireless phone is just as dangerous as driving while intoxicated? Your actions on Saturday, Ms. Crazy-Bitch, certainly proved just that. You were so absorbed in your phone conversation that you didn’t realize how recklessly you were driving! You honked at me because you did not get your way! Know this, Ms. Crazy-Bitch: I did nothing wrong. And if you cannot (or will not) understand this, then I feel sorry for you.

Let me posit a future scenario for you, Ms. Crazy-Bitch, should you continue with this careless, reckless, stupid behavior. (Assuming you don’t end up on a cold slab in the coroner’s morgue first.) You may well find yourself in a rehab hospital learning how to type using eye movement because you’ve been paralyzed from the neck down. Or, you might be spending several years in prison.

And you may end up spending the rest of your life knowing that you killed someone because of your careless, reckless, stupid behavior. Think about that, Ms. Crazy-Bitch. And while you’re at it, power down your wireless phone and put it away the next time you take a drive. Please.

Sincerely,

(driver of the dark gold Jeep Grand Cherokee)